Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Vuoy?!?

My spirit was officially broken today. As a California kid I’ve never really dealt with cold before, and have been struggling in the frigid temperatures of my site for some time now. But only today, when my toilet was frozen over solid, was I faced with such a soul-rending and seemingly insurmountable obstacle that I couldn’t deal with it. My toilet is inside my house for Pete’s sake.
I haven’t been able to feel all my toes simultaneously for well over a month now… no big thing. I’ve grown accustomed to the slight haze that envelopes my head as every exhalation I take turns to fog and floats up over my face. My schedule has adjusted to allow for the 15 minute pre-departure preparations that include such things as the wrapping of scarves, the pulling on of absurd amounts of layers of underclothing, adjustment of fold down flaps on my hat and checking for any potential exposures to the outside frigidness. But the toilet did me in.
As I stared down at the layer of ice thwarting my most basic human necessity, I should have known that trying to flush it down was a poor idea, but who can be blamed for mental lapses in these conditions. The lid of ice didn’t flush down, oh no…in fact it formed an impenetrable barrier. My normally cat-like reflexes, numbed by the below freezing temperatures inside my own home only allowed me to watch as the receptacle filled and overflowed. The frozen nerves in my toes made no mention to the proper mental authorities that the wool socks surrounding them were taking on water. It wasn’t until I felt the water on my lower ankle that I snapped back to reality. And a cold reality it was. After cleaning up what I could, leaving the rest to freeze until the spring thaw, I dried myself by my heater for the requisite 45 minutes. Redressed, refreshed and ever the resilient volunteer, I started heating water and found something to use as an icepick.
As if the Peace Corps’ experience didn’t provide enough gastrointestinal issues already.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dominic,
Sorry to hear about the cold weather over there. Even worse I'm sorry to hear about the toilet incident but I did get a good laugh out of it. Guess the 4 inches of snow that we've had to deal with in Ohio is nothing huh?? We can only pray for an early Spring for all of you.
Kathy Z. (Sarah's Mom)

Joshua said...

Crap Dommo, that stinks!
-Schwa

Anonymous said...

I almost wonder if you could create a challenge game: "Time me as I break the ice!" or maybe do some ice fishing for sewer rats.

It reminds me of a joke. "Do you know what the best bait is for ice fishing?" "No what?" "Peas." "Why's that?" "Well, you chip a hole in the ice and spread some peas around it. When the fish comes up to take a pea, you bag it!"

You can use that one if you like- though I'm not sure you'll have the same homophone in Armenian.

Nate

Anonymous said...

I never got to experience that particular joy myself but some friends who lived in Berd did. I think Jessica referred to the frozen waste on her bathroom floor as a yellow & brown skating rink.

Colleen H
A10 RPCV